


Torn In Two

by Doubledeckersofa



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Daniel Howell - Fandom, Phan, Phil Lester - Fandom, dan and phil
Genre: Amazingphil - Freeform, Angst and Feels, Cyber sex, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Daddykink, Daniel Howell - Freeform, Kinky, London, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phil Lester - Freeform, Phone Sex, Skype Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:22:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29393331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doubledeckersofa/pseuds/Doubledeckersofa
Summary: This takes place right before the first ever lockdown happened last year (2020)Phil takes a trip to see family up north and Dan stays home.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Phan - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	1. Nothing without you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first official DNP fic! Hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think and if I should keep a series going...(that was kinda my plan anyway)

Separation, danger, anxiety, uneasiness and disbelief. 14/3/2020 

“Are you sure you have to go?” Dan whined as he sat on Phil’s bed, crossing his legs underneath himself. “It’s only a week, you’ll be fine!” The black haired man spoke reassuringly as he continued to shove wads of T-shirts into an already over filled suitcase. “A lot can happen in a week philly,” He began. “I mean, I could die, you’d miss my funeral and I would never forgive you.” Dan crosses his arms like a toddler who didn’t get their way. “Jesus Christ Dan! No ones dying. I’m just going to visit My Mum and Martin for a few days, and I’ll be back before you know it, bear.” Phil popped up from looking under his bed, looking for god knows what. “Cmon,” Phil slapped dans thigh as he stood to his feet, offering a hand. Dan takes it and he pulls the brunett into a hug. “I promise I’ll FaceTime you every night.” Phil spoke in a low, broken voice. Dan only squeezing tighter.

The two have only been apart a few other times. Each one as agonizing as the last. They hated being apart from each other, but with Martin’s limited flat space and dans unwillingness to go back home to his homophobic family, Dan had no other choice then to stay behind. Sure, he loves Martin, But a whole week with basically two phils? 

“I actually have a surprise for you.” Phil said still in dans embrace. 

“Phil, If it’s another kinder egg I will break your legs. I told you to throw those away!” Dan let go of Phil crossing his arms. “No! I finshed em ages ago. Little bit of advice, just because they’re on sale, don’t buy an entire box of kinder eggs.” Phil laughed as he turned to his closet pulling something from a hidden box on the floor. 

“To keep you busy while I’m gone. And I want a full tour of your island when I get back!” Phil gifted Dan the new animal crossing game to keep his mind busy, so he doesn’t feel all alone. He’d tell him to have a friend over but pj moved to brighten with Sofie and Dan would only feel like a third wheel if he visited them. 

“Thank you, you didn’t have to.” Dan smiled, still with a bit of sadness through trying his best to conseal it. “I know, but I also bought my self one to play on the train!” Phil does a little dance at the thought , almost little too excited for a game that’s aimed towards children. 

“You’re taking the fast bullet train thingy right? The one that’s super fast?” Dan questioned changing the subject back to Phil’s trip. 

“I don’t think it’s called a bullet train but it’s safer than a plane ride!” Phil, the hypochondriac. Afraid of flying, afraid to drive, Dan always helped calm his nerves but this time Dan wasn’t coming. Phil’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he realizes the time.

“Shit, my cabs here!” Phil rushes to his bed, attempting to zip it shut. “It’s too full! You have to take something out.” Dan said pulling on a piece of fabric sticking out the side of the overflowing luggage. 

Phil opens the case and immediately Dan notices a small box. “Really, surgical masks? Do you really need these??” Dan removed the box and phil quickly snatched them out of dans hands placing them back in the case.

“Dan, this covid-19 virus is getting serious! What if I get on the train and the lady next to me sneezes on my face and I die on the spot because you took my box of masks!” Phil protests as he exchanged a pair of jeans for the box of disposable masks. “Cmon! They said it’s basically the flu, you’ll be fine.” Dan scoffed as phil successfully zipped his suitcase. 

The boys once again holding each other in a long embrace as the cab driver loads Phil’s luggage into the truck of the vehicle. “Call me when you get there, and I shouldn’t have to say this, but please do NOT take candy from strangers.” Dan said with a cheeky smile. 

“That was one time Dan! And she was an old grandma, so it doesn’t count!” Phil explained as Dan opened his door for him. “Seriously, I’ll be fine Dan. See you in eight days!” Phil maneuvered himself into the cab, struggling a bit with his long legs. “You better call me tonight bitch or I will hunt you down.” Phil pecked dans lips just before closing the cab door. Dan stepped back onto the curb crossing his arms as the taxi pulled away and suddenly his world went grey. 

His sunshine was gone. It was as if Phil was the keeper of everything good in this world and without him, it all just seemed dark, gloomy, depressing. 

Dan try’s to distract himself with his new game courtesy of Phil, but he couldn’t bring himself to enjoy it. Sure, it was only three in the afternoon but Dan decided it was a good time to take a nap. 

If he was sleeping, he wouldn’t have to be reminded of the absence of Phil. 

Tangled in sheets, sweat causing them to stick to his skin as he furiously tries to undo his lovers pants. “I, I just want you,” Dan spoke breathlessly in between passionate sloppy kisses. “I want you inside of me.” He pleads. 

“Then beg.” His counter part demanded as he began to suck along dans collarbone, leaving behind wet sensitive skin. “Please, I can’t, I need you inside of me Phil!” Dan begs as Phil plams dans growing length through his jeans. 

“What did you call me?” Phil removes his hand from dans crotch and wraps it around his neck applying just enough pressure to hold Dan in his place. “It seems you have a little trouble remembering,” Phils lips pressing against dans ear causing his dick to twitch. “do you need something to help jog your memory, sweet boy?” He places the lobe of Dans ear in between his teeth bitting softly just before pulling away. Phil sits back on his knees grinding his ass a little into dans fully hard cock.

“You’re gunna watch Daddy, since you can’t seem to listen.” Phil removed his pants and repositions himself on top of Dan. 

Phil’s dick hitting dans stomach in the process and Dan wants it so bad. To touch him. To feel his dick deep inside himself until he can no longer stand it. Till he can no longer stand. “Please, daddy-“ Dan reaches for Phil’s cock dripping with pre cum, ready, ready to be sucked, stroked, inside of Dan. Oh how Phil wanted to be inside of Dan. So warm, the sound of their skin coming together, feeling like electricity when their raw skin collides.

“Do I have to tie up your pretty little hands? Or can you behave for daddy?” Phil doesn’t mess around when it comes to fucking. One of the many things Dan loved about him. Loves. Dan loves him so much. They’ve said it before. Casually, often, when one needs a charger but they’re too lazy to move so the other comes to the rescue, thanked with “god I love you!” Being woken up to their favorite take out “I love you.” When Phil says something so innocently stupid, “I love you, idiot” he is an idiot. Dans idiot. 

“Sorry, I can behave.” Dan replied quickly placing his hands under his head to keep them from wondering. “You’re so good for me.” Phil spoke as he began stroking himself slowly, keeping the eye contact with Dan. “Tell me what you want,” Phil’s strokes becoming steady, and firmer. “I want you deep in me,” Dan whined as he tangled his fingers in his own hair. “I want you, to use me, make me feel so good.” Dan continued as he began to circle his hips underneath Phil. He pretendes he didn’t notice because after all, he wants Dan to feel good too. “I wanna touch you, wrap my lips around your cock, I want your cum all over my face.” Dan continued rocking his hips a little more. 

“What else do you want, baby?” Phil’s breathing getting faster, Dan knows he’s close. God he just wants him all over his body. “I want you to fill me, daddy, I want you to fuck me so hard and fill me up!” Dans voice a little over a whisper, breathing getting harder once Phil begins grinding down on dans lap as he jerks himself off. “Fuck baby-“ Phil, about to come undone for Dan, on Dan. He opens his mouth in anticipation, needy, ready. 

Heart pounding, skin, painful? Dans eyes adjust and realizes his phone is ringing, it’s phil. It’s also 6am. What the fuck could be so important for this bitch to be calling at six in the goddamn morning?? “Phil?” Dan answered, voice still asleep. “Dan, have you seen the news??” Phil’s voice practically a panic. Dan now more awake with the sound of his love potentially in danger? Kidnapped? What the fuck is going on? “You know I never wake up before noon, what’s going on? Where the hell are you?” Dan sits up in his bed as he pulls his phone away from his face to double check the time, 6:45am

23/3/2020

“I’m at the station,-“ 

“I’m on my way! I’ll be there in about 15 minutes-“ Dan frantically jumps out of bed putting on the first pair of pants he saw on the floor. “Daniel!” Phil said almost shouting. “I’m still up north.” Phil trailed off. “What? Did you miss your train?” Dan sat on the edge of his bed with a jumper half on his body. 

“More like, there are no trains.” Silence. Dan tuned into the background noise coming from Phil’s end but that’s all he could hear. 

“We’re on lockdown, Dan. There’s no trains leaving the station. Boris just announced it.” Dans throat felt as if he tied to deep throat a cactus. His chest was tight, hands sweaty. “Lockdow- what do you mean? You’re stuck there?” Dans tone calmer then Phil was anticipating which worries him. 

“Technically no ones allowed to leave their homes unless it’s for an emergency or groceries.” He informed Dan. “This virus is getting out of control, no ones allowed to travel.” Phil’s tone sounded apologetic.

As if he should have known, as if he should have gone home sooner. Should’ve stayed. “For how long? The weekend? Can you get a train Monday?” Dan began to panic already knowing the answer to his question. 

“I’m not sure how long, bear.” Phil’s voice trailed off. A shiver runs down dans spine, almost comforted by Phil’s voice. 

Phil knew the planned lock down was for at least month. He wasn’t going to tell Dan that. Not now at least. It’s bad enough they’ve already been apart for a week but a whole month? He just wanted to be home with Dan. To be curled up on the couch, probably watching anime, or whatever, it didn’t matter, if he had dan nothing else mattered.


	2. Home Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil get quarantined apart when the unexpected lockdown happens as Phil visits his family up north and Dan stays home.

Silence. He couldn’t even hear Dan’s breathing. Oh god, did I just kill Dan?? “Dan? You there?” Phil worried. 

“I, uh, yeah. Yes. I’m here.” Dan spoke soft and low. Throat sharp trying to conceal his feelings. “What happens now?” Dan fils the silence between them, clearly unsure how to go about this.

After all, this has never happened before. A lockdown? Quarantined? Thousands of people forced to stay home? Unheard of. Terrifying.

“I rang Martin, he’s on his way back to the station.” Phil spoke as if he were walking on egg shells. Like this was his fault and he was just waiting for Dan to explode on him. This was out of His control, he knows that. Does he? Does Dan? 

“To take you back to your Mum’s?” Dan questioned, still unsure of how to react. Phil let out a soft sigh, soft enough so Dan didn’t hear. Stress. Both boys stressed out of their skin and neither knowing what to do next. 

Dan desperately misses his tenebrous haired boyfriend. Understandable, of course. Every night of his loves absence Dan has dreamt of him. Little things, the domestic shit. The things Dan missed the most. Agony upon waking up alone, eight days. Each one longer the last. Excruciating.  
Fucking horrible. 

“Yeah, she says Martin and I can stay until it’s safe to venture out once again.” To come home. Dan sighs as if the more air he blew out, the less anxiety would fill him. 

“I just fucking miss you.” Dans voice just above a whisper. 

“I fucking miss you too Dan. God, I just want to have you in my arms, I miss you so much. I want to feel your skin against mine.” Phil desperate for the right words, words to express how terribly he missed Dan. Fuck.  
Phil’s phone buzzes against his cheek and he checks the notification. “Martins here.” Phil almost sounding disappointed. Unwilling to end the phone call with Dan.

“Right,” Dan clears his throat. “Be safe Phil, I love you.” Dans voice broke at that last part.  
Shattered, as Dan ends the call not wanting another word. Not wanting to be in this moment again. Wanting to forget, for this to be a bad dream. 

The phone beeps indicating the ended call and Phil keeps his cell against his face a little while longer. Disbelief. Is this really happening? His phone buzzes once again, Martin. 

“Where the hell are you??” Read Martins text prompted by the lack of Phil’s response to the first message. 

“Coming.” Phil quickly typed as he gathers his belongings and made his way to the car park. 

“Phil, honey.” A warm familiar voice spoke. “I made lunch, you hungry?” Phil’s eyes open and focus on the figure standing at the foot of the bed. His Mother. Trying her best. Trying to help best she can but knowing there’s not much she can do. “I made Tikka Masala.” Phil’s mum sits by Phil running a hand along his arm, prompting him to wake up. 

“What time is it?” Phil questioned as he sat up grabbing his glasses from the side table. 

“2pm, I didn’t want to wake you.” She quickly adds. “Come on then, I have a plate for you.” She pats Phil’s leg twice before standing to her feet and returning to the kitchen.

Phil runs a hand through his hair as he checks his phone. Notifications from various apps, Instagram, a few from Twitter. An email or two, but nothing from Dan. The only person he wants to hear from. Phil tosses his phone near his feet and leaves it there.  
Dan will come ‘round, he knows. He’s probably still asleep. Probably wrapped up in his blankets, warm. Alone. Phil squeezes his eyes shut shaking the thought of his Daniel all alone.

‘I should’ve been more adamant about Dan coming along. We’d’ve been together.’ And that’s all that would’ve mattered. 

“Wait, let me grab my headphones!” Phil jumps up from his temporary bed which happens to be his Mum’s spare room. It was cozy, not his style unless you’d call Northern Cottage Phil’s style, which no one does. “Okay sorry, go on!” Phil adjusts his laptop which sat on his crossed legs as a blue hue from his monitor lights up wall behind him. 

“I restarted attack on Titans yesterday,” Their favorite anime. Well, one of them. “It’s not the same watching it alone.” Dan trailed off as he traced imaginary shape into his sheets with his finger.  
“Which episode are you on? You can face me towards the tv and we can watch together on FaceTime or something!” Phil suggested trying to get a bit of normalcy back in their lives. 

Dan laughed at the thought. “With our breakfast, as usual?” Dan mocked playing along. 

“S’how was your day?” The conversation got a bit heavy with the weight of the question. 

“Like every other day for the past two-weeks.” Dan laid his head on his pillow, staring up at the ceiling. Still in view of his computer’s webcam. Still in sight of Phil. “The only differences is I’m working my ass off to pay back a goddamn raccoon for a house lot.” Dan laughed trying to lighten the situation. 

“I just can’t find enough iron! And I don’t have enough miles for more nook tickets.” Phil went on about about his island in ‘Animal crossing New Horizons’

“And not to mention Timmy and Tommy! Those bitches never have anything useful at their tent.” Dan contributed with a cheeky smile as he turned to his side, facing the laptop. 

For a moment it felt like normal. Like home. God Phil missed his home. His bed, his things. Dan. Home. Dan was home. Dan was Phil’s home from the start. No matter where they were, even in their first shared flat in Manchester, just after Dan dropped uni, just after He decided to leave his family and create a new one with Phil. 

“How’s your mum and Martin? Can’t imagine how that’s going.” Dan with another laugh. 

“It isn’t too bad. The house is small, she’s stress cooking as usual, I’m sure I’ve gained eighty pounds already!” Phil joked while puffing his cheeks. “What about you?,” Dans heart dropped to his stomach. It’s an innocent question which deserves an honest answer, which would be easy for anyone who wasn’t Dan.

”no uh, yeah. I’ve completed demolished the cereal stash.” Dan laughed half heartedly knowing Phil sees right through him. 

“Bear, have you been eating?” Phil was serious but not pushy. He knew Dan and his habits. 

“No Phil, I’m starving myself to become Britain’s next top model.” Dan mocked with a sarcastic tone. 

“Dan, you can’t do this.” Okay maybe Phil was a little pushy. “Phil, I just had take away pizza earlier tonight, want me to show you the box?” Dan a little defensive now.

“Okay, sorry, I just, I want you to take care of yourself.” Phil knew this wasn’t the end of the conversation but that’s for another time. He just wanted to continue to have a nice Skype call with his boyfriend who was hundreds of miles away. 

“I appreciate it, but ya bitch loves food to much to literally starve myself.” Dan joked once again. 

His words were like glass and Phil could see right through them. Not because Dan wasn’t a good liar. To anyone else he could wear a mask like no other. He’s had to for so long. Especially growing up. Sometimes it’s hard for him to remove it out of habit. He knows he doesn’t have to hide from Phil yet he still does, which breaks Phil’s heart every fucking time.  
“Oh! You got another parcel in the mail.” Dan quickly changing the subject. “You really need to stop stress ordering things online Philly.” Dan laughed as he fiddled with his fingers, an anxious habit. 

“Where’s it from? I may or may not have gotten you something.” Phil watched as Dan gets up from his bed to retrieve Phil’s many packages. 

“One says it was shipped from the states.” Dan throws the boxes on his bed in Phil’s view. 

“That one! Open it” Dan shook his head as he began lifting the tape sealing the medium sized box. 

“You goddamn bitch, you didn’t!” Phil smiled seeing dans excitement. 

“Put it on!” Phil insisted all giddy. Dan slipped on a replica of his famous ‘Danosaur’ onesie, he had lost the original forever ago on the TATINOF tour in one of their many hotel rooms. 

“I can’t believe you found it!” 

Dan squeals as he zips himself up. “I searched so many sites until I found this one who just so happens to be sold by a phannie who makes knockoffs of our signature clothing!” Phil laughed as he realizes the irony in the situation.

“Oh my god, should we like, do something about that?” Dan joked as he got comfortable in his bed once again, covering his thick brown curls with the hood of his onesie. 

“It’s honestly sweet plus it’s merch we’d never make, I say let them have their fun!” Phil decided to follow dans lead and reposition himself in bed in a more comfortable, horizontal position. 

“Is it weird this is making me horny?” Dan laughed looking for Phil’s reaction. 

“The onesie? I mean Dan we’ve done some pretty fucked up stuff but the onesie does it for you?” Phil thought of Dan wearing nothing underneath, just skin and soft cotton. 

Dan wiggled a bit repositioning his pans making it more comfortable for his hardening dick within his too many layers. 

“I dunno! I can’t control all of my erections!” Dan defensively argued. 

“You really have a hard on right now?” Phil laughed yet truly curious.

“Maybe..” Dan palmed his ever growing bulge through his pants just a little, enough to tease himself. “What me in a Dino onesie doesn’t do it for you?” Dan joked.

“Oh yes,” Phil said in fake seductive tone. “How did you know I was a Dinosexual?” Phil continued playfully yet truly getting turned on now. “But there’s only one issue..” He led on. “You’ve got too many layers, no Dino has that many layers..” Phil now fully committed to this whole dinosaur play thing. What the actual fuck? He didn’t care. To be honest, he hasn’t had sex in over three and a half weeks and with Dans horny ass, fucking tends to be a regular activity in the Lestowel house hold. 

“Oh is that right? Want me wearing nothin’ but this fucking dinosaur onesie?” Dan said as he brought himself to his knees as he began unzipping himself slowly as as if he were some chip n dales performer, dans crotch now in frame of the webcams. Phil wasn’t complaining. Watching Dan strip while getting to eye his bulge through his clothing was definitely a treat, and Phil loved his sweets.

Phil suddenly rememberes there were two other people in the house and one of them just so happens to be his mother. And walking in on her son and his boyfriend literally having Skype sex? And not to mention not being able to leave or avoid her after the fact? Nope, can’t do it. 

“One second.” Phil said as he left his virtual Danny who was working on removing some layers. Phil pops up to lock the door so the two could carry on with their little sexcapade. 

Phil returns and places the headphones back in his ear as his eyes quickly grab the computer monitor. Dan has now been dressed in nothing but that damn onesie and the zipper pulled down enough reveal a nipple with certain movements.  
“That was fast.” Phil admitted with a lump in his throat. Enjoying this more then he intended to.

“The zipper is a little uncomfortable pressing on my dick.” Dan laughed as he tried his best to fix that situation but it was use. Dan was fully hard and that dick was going no where. Literally. God he wanted his dick to be inside Phil so bad. Masturbating alone isn’t as fun as having someone else stroke your cock or fuck you silly. 

“Oh I’m sorry baby, do you need me to take care of that big cock for you?” Phil questioned as he placed a pillow between his legs rubbing up against it softly. 

“Please, I need you to take care of it daddy.” Dan whined, begging like a pornstar which only drives Phil crazy. Dan knows. Dans a little slut and he knows it. 

“Well daddy isn’t there sugar, so I’m going to need you to touch yourself for me, do you think you can do that?” Phil began rocking his hips against the pillow, holding it in place with one hand.

“Yes, I think I can do that.”  
Dans eyes closed as if he weren’t allow to open them. “‘Yes’ what?”  
Phil prompted. Dan knows how to act. How to behave, how to be good for him. But Dan is a little shit who just loves to be punished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...please don’t hate me! I know I know, I wanted more too but I didn’t want to make it too long bc, believe me we were about to be going some places...

**Author's Note:**

> Cliff hanger, no? How do you feel? Need more answers? Well that’s the end of chapter one. Don’t really care? Thanks for your time! Let me know what you think💕


End file.
